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17. Bütün gün evde ne yapıyoruz?

             

       Okula gitmediği düşünülünce, genelde ''bütün gün evde ne yapıyorsunuz peki?'' gibi bir soru ile karşılaşıyorum. Seyyah'ın doğumundan beri çalışmıyorum ben. Bu durum beni çok da sarsmadı çünkü zaten ondan önce de son bir kaç sene sadece özel ders verdiğim oldukça rahat bir çalışma düzenim vardı.

       Evet ben çalışmıyorum ve oğlum da okula gitmiyor. Bu durum, genelde kültürümüzde kabul gördüğü üzere bizim çoğunlukta evde olduğumuz anlamına gelmiyor, bizim için! Biz anne-oğul ve hatta anne-baba-oğul ev dışında çok fazla vakit geçiren, aktif ve hareketli bir aileyiz. Bu hareketi besleyen irili ufaklı pek çok faktör var hayatımızda. Arabamızın olması ve benim aktif araba kullanan ve çocuğuyla bebekliğinden itibaren yalnız seyahat edebilen bir anne olmam pek çok şeyi, genelde kabul gördüğü halinden daha farklı yaşamamızı sağlıyor.

                                   

        Dışarı çıktığımızda İstanbul'u gezebiliyor, oyun alanları ya da farklı büyüklükte farklı parklara gidebiliyor, misafirliğe gidebiliyor, şehirlerarası ya da bazen yurtdışı seyahatler yapabiliyoruz. Bazen biz kahvelerimiz alıp çıkıyoruz ve Seyyah da gittiğimiz yerde, bisikletine biniyor ya da patenlerle kayıyor, yeni arkadaşlar edinip onlarla oynayabiliyor. Müzeleri gezebiliyor, bazen tiyatro ya da sinemaya gidiyoruz. Artık iyice seyrekleşse de ihtiyacımıza göre avmlere de gidiyoruz, ya da market alışverişimizi birlikte yapıyoruz.

       İbrahim vardiyalı çalışıyor ve haftanın neredeyse her günü, gün içinde evde olduğu saatler oluyor. Bunun bedeli gece de çalşıyor olması olsa da; çocuğumuzun hiç bir anını ikimizin de hiç kaçırmadan birlikte izlemiş olmamız paha biçilmez bir şey.

                     

       Dolayısıyla evde geçen vakitlerimiz ayrı dolu oluyor. İbrahim evdeyse baba oğul kah hareketli oyunlarla, kah sakin sohbetlerle, ya da kitap okuyarak vakit geçiriyor. Hep birlikte filmler (genelde animasyon ya da çizgifilm) izliyoruz. Dans ediyoruz, müzik dinliyoruz. Üçümüz de vedeysek, bazen biz İbrahim'le kahve muhabbeti yaparken Seyyah yanımızda sessizce oynayıp bizi dinliyor. Bazen bir günümüz çok boş geçiyor. Neredeyse hiç bir şey yapmıyoruz. Sakin, boş, yavaş geçmiş o günden sonra gelen hareketli ve dolu bir günün tadı ayrı oluyor o zaman. Bazen mutfakta birlikte bir şeyler yapıyoruz. İbrahim de ben de evimizin her işini birlikte yaptığımız için, genel de Seyyah da bu süreçlere dahil olmak istiyor, onu da dahil ediyoruz o zaman. Bazen Seyyah kendi kendine oynamak, ya da kendi kendine kitapları karıştırmak istiyor. Evdeki her eşyaya ulaşımı ve kullanmasına imkan var. Yani her zaman yeni bir keşif için bir fırsatı olabiliyor. Bazen çok sıkılıyoruz cidden, ne bir şey izlemek, ne okumak, ne oynamak istiyor canımız. O günlerde ''ayyy ne çok sıkıldık bugün'' konulu muhabbetlerimiz oluyor.

               

       Bizim evimizde yazılı ya da çocuğumuza ''bu bizim kuralımız'' başlığı ile belirttiğimiz kurallarımız yok. Ama yaptığımız ve yapmadığımız şeyleri gözlemleyerek o da bizim tarzımıza uyum sağlayarak büyüyor. Bizim hakkımız olan her şey onun da hakkı ve bunu biliyor. Yani sevmediği bir şeyi yemek zorunda ya da uykusu gelmediği halde belli bir saatte yatmak zorunda değil mesela. İstediğimiz zaman ve istediğimiz kadar uyuyabiliyoruz. Sanmayın ki hergün yatma saati ya da uzunluğu değişiyor. Dönem dönem özellikle seyahatlerimiz bağlı olarak değişiklik gösterse de, her zaman kaçta yatarsa kaçta kalkacağını bilirim. Çünkü o vücudunun ihtiyacını dinler ve ona göre hareket eder; ben de onu her zaman ilgiyle gözlemler ve çoğu zaman doğru şekilde öngörürüm.

                

       Kitap okumanın nasıl kısıtlı bir saati yoksa, ekranla haşır neşir olmanın da kısıtlı bir saati yok mesela bizim evde. Nasıl oğlumuz için aldığımız kitapları okuyarak seçip alıyorsak, izleyeceği şeyleri de önce biz izleyerek internetsiz-reklamsız bir ekranda istediği gibi ulaşabilmesini sağlıyoruz. Henüz kitabın da ekranında abartılı bir kullanımına şahit olmadım. Bence bu yaklaşım, evde vakit geçirmeyi daha sevilesi kılıyor, kendi ailem için yaptığım şahsi bir yorum bu elbet, herkeste aynı şekilde seyretmeyebilir.

       Evde günlerimizin nasıl geçtiği konusu, ara ara değineceğim, farklı örneklerle yazacağım bir konu. İlginizi çekerse ileriki yazılarımda bu konuyla yeniden görüşürüz.

 

       Zeynep

 

 

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