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34.Okulsuzlukta annelik

             

       Okulsuzlukta annelik bazen yorucu, sıkıcı ve bunaltıcı olabiliyor. Eğer kendimi mutlu eden şeylerden uzak kaldığım bir dönem yaşıyorsam, sonunda cidden oldukça dolmuş olabiliyorum. Çünkü benim için, tek başıma,  7/24 sadece çocuklu hayata gömülüp yaşamak zorlayıcı bir durum. 
 

       İbrahim’in yoğun çalıştığı, dolayısıyla yorgun olduğu, aynı zamanda pek hareket edemeyip uzun süre evde kalıp, evde de çok standart ve aynı şeylerle vakit geçirdiğimiz (çünkü Seyyah öyle isteyebiliyor) dönemler en zorlayıcı zamanlar oluyor bu süreçte benim açımdan. Hayatımız hep bu şekilde olsaydı, çok zorlanırdım. 
 

       Ama İbrahim’le ebeveynlikte iyi paslaştığımız, benim evde ve dışarıda kendime ayrıca vakit ayırabildiğim, eşimle muhabbet edebildiğim, Seyyah’ın bizden bağımsız vakit geçirdiği, seyahat ettiğimiz dolayısıyla vaktimizin hemen hepsini etkileyen yeni deneyimlerin olduğu (çocuğun her farklı yaşındaki seyahat farklı bir deneyim zaten!), okuyabildiğim ve yazabildiğim zaman aralıkları yaratabildiğim (Seyyah kendi kendine oynarken bile olabiliyor bu) dönemler benim için çocuklu hayatta bal&kaymak❤️. Çok şükür ki, bu rahat dönemler benim hayatımda çoğunlukta. Bu yüzden de okulsuz bir yaşam tarzı beni anne olarak fazla zorlamıyor. 

       Ayrıca çocuğum büyüdükçe hayatın içinde artan çeşitliliği çok seviyorum ve bundan olumlu etkileniyorum. Bu çeşitlilik Seyyah büyüdükçe onun merakları ve ilgi alanları ile zenginleştiği için, aslında benim okulsuzluk sürecinde gözlem için ayırdığım vaktimin, dikkatimin ve emeğimin yoğunluğunu azaltabileceğim anlamına geliyor. Böylece vaktimi, dikkatimi ve emeğimi hem onunla ilgili daha farklı ve yeni konulara, hem de hayata ve kendime de yöneltebiliyorum yavaş yavaş. Çünkü çocuk artık ihtiyaçlarının daha da farkında ve bunları çok daha net ifade ederek taleplerini de bizim tahminimize bırakmadan yapabiliyor. Açıkçası bu benim için büyük bir rahatlığa dönüşmeye başladı bile.

       Çocuklar büyüdükçe soruları da artıyor ve büyüyor. Bu durumun çoğu ebeveynde birazcık paniğe yol açtığını gözlemliyorum çevremde. Çocuğuma benim için doğru ve yeterli olmayan hiç bir bilgiyi vermeyeceğimden ve onun merakını tatmin edecek kadarını anlatmaya her konuda açık olduğumdan emin olduğum için şimdilik bu soru cevap olaylarında gayet iyi gidiyoruz. Daha da iyi olacağımızdan pek şüphem yok açıkçası.

       Okulsuzlukta annelik serüvenimi ''don't worry, be happy'' modunda sürdürdüğümü, çocuğumun beş yaşından bildirdim.

 

       Zeynep

 

 

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