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4. Okulsuzluk, nasıl İbrahim'in de kanına girdi?

                     

   Başarısız bir ikna çalışması sonucu kendiliğinden olanların hikayesi bu.

   Bu yazının başlığı aslında ''Mavi ile sarı karışırsa yeşil olur''du, ama yazının içeriğine yönelik yeni bir başlık koymayı daha uygun buldum sonradan.

   Ben okulsuzluğu önce duydum, bolca okudum vesaire; ve ikna oldum. Çok da hoşuma gitti. Ama daha en başından anladım ki, bu iş olabildiğince, çocuğunuzu nasıl yetiştireceğinize dayanıyor. Dolayısıyla doğası gereği, ailede iki ebeveyn de varsa, tek ebeveynin vereceği bir karar, tek başına uygulanacak bir yaklaşım değil. Ebeveynlerden ikisinin de hemfikir olması ve birbirine destek olması, bire bir aynı görüşte olmasa da genel olarak çocuğa aynı pencereden bakması gerekiyor. Yoksa bu iş öyle tek başına olabilecek bir iş değil!

   Dolayısıyla İbrahim'e konuyu yavaştan anlatmaya başladım. Baktım oralı değil pek, okuduklarımı ona da göndermeye başladım. Yok, aynı heyecana sahip değiliz bu konuda, ben yalayıp yutuyorum araştırmaları, paylaşımları, kitapları; o okumuyor bile!

   Bir adım sonrasında; kahve muhabbetlerimiz sırasında, kendi okuduklarımı ona da okumaya başladım. Konuyu anlatmayı, ne düşündüğümü anlatmayı başardım başarmasına, ama sonuç ; ''ben aynı fikirde değilim'' oldu. Kah üzüldüm, kah küstüm, bazen kızdım, bazen daha da ısrarcı oldum, yok hiç biri işe yaramadı. En son geldiğimiz nokta; ''bence bu konu, okul yaşı geldiğinde düşünülmesi gereken bir konu, sen o zamana kadar araştır istiyorsan. Ben engel olmam, ama destek de veremem çünkü ben senin gibi düşünmüyorum.'' oldu. Kendi haline bırakmaya karar versem de, sabırsız mizacım, İbrahim'i bu konuda biraz da sık boğaz ettirdi bana zaman zaman. O zamanki sabrı için teşekkürü borç bilirim kendisine.

   Bir gün, Seyyah'ı, evimizden biraz daha uzak bir parka götürdük. Sonbahar başları, sağı solu çınar ağaçları olan bir yolda yürüyoruz. Yerler sarılı yeşilli çınar yaprakları ile dolu. İbrahim'in renklerle arası yoktur hiç. Hiç öğrenme gereği duymamış, ana renkler, ara renkler filan, bilmez! Ben de severim öyle şeyleri. Yerden sarı bir yaprak aldım ve ''bak normalde yaprak ne renktir?'' dedim. İbrahim de ''yeşil'' dedi. Yerden aldığım yaprak sarıydı. ''bak, bu yaprak sararmış, neden biliyor musun? Su, denizi düşünsen ne renktir? Mavi (tabi ki suyun rengi mavi değil de, aramızda öyle dedik). Bu yaprağın suyu gitmiş, kurumuş, yani mavisi gitmiş, sarısı kalmış, çünkü yeşil mavi ile sarının karışımından oluşur'' dedim. Doğrusunu yanlışını bilmiyorum, hep sevmişimdir böyle bağlantıları sadece.

   Bir zaman sonra, yine bir kahve muhabbetimizde İbrahim bana; '' sen o gün o yaprağı, renkleri öyle anlattın ya, benim bakış açım değişti. Baktığım zaman ağaçları bile farklı algılıyorum. Bu kadar eğitim bana böyle bakmayı öğretemediyse, başlarım böyle eğitime. Bundan sonra okulsuzluğa benden tam destek'' dedi ve ben çok mutlu oldum. O gün bu gündür de, dediği gibi bu konuda ailemizdeki babadan tam destek geldi hep.

   Okuduklarımı o da okudu. Katılıp katılmadığımız noktaları tartışarak kendi doğrularımızı bazen aynı noktalarda, bazen birbirimizden farklı noktalarda bulduk. Okulsuzluk doneleri üzerine konuşurken, oldukça klasikleşmiş basma kalıp yaklaşımlar ona itici geldikçe, benim de olaya bakış açım değişti. İşte biz o kahve muhabbetlerinde bir kaç senedir, konuşa konuşa kendi okulsuzluk mantığımızı oturttuk. Oturttuk ama daha yolun başındayız. Seyyah büyüdükçe, her gün yeni bir şey ile karşılaşıyor ve nasıl davranmamız gerektiğine birlikte karar veriyoruz.

   İşte şimdi, bir sene sonra artık şu cümleyi sadece ağzımızla değil, içselleştirdiğimiz için hislerimizle de kuruyoruz; her bir çocuk ve her bir aile kendi içinde farklıdır ve bu yüzden her ailenin okulsuzluğu yaşama biçimi de farklıdır. 

   Bu konuda okuduğunuz her bir deneyim, sahibine ait olacak ve siz eğer okulsuzluk gibi bir tercih üzerine düşünüyorsanız, içlerinden sadece size uyan kısımlar ile ilgilenerek kendi okulsuzluk deneyiminizi tamamen kendinize uygun şekilde şekillendireceksiniz. Bir aile kırsala yerleşiyor diye kırsala yerleşmeniz gerekmediğini, başka bir aile çocuğunun her istediğini yapıyor diye inanmadığınız halde bunu kendinize de mal etmenize gerek olmadığını anlayacaksınız. Çünkü okulsuzluk mantığında aileler, çocuksuz hayatlarında yaptıklarından çok daha farklı hayatlar yaşamaya, hayatlarından gerçekten istemedikleri şeyleri çıkarıp, geriye kalanlarla mutlu olmaya başlıyorlar zamanla. Ve siz de bunu kendi doğrularınız, kendi zevkleriniz, kendi inandıklarınız ile deneyimleyeceksiniz.

   Hikayemin darısı, okulsuzluk düşlerken, eşinin desteğini bekleyen tüm anne ve babaların başına. Bunu bekleyen annelerin de, babaların da olduğunu biliyorum...

  

Zeynep

 

 

 

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Adınız Soyadınız... - 15.5.2017 10:23:40

Amiin.


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